Happy Valentines Day...and a little bit of my tesimony

Today is always bittersweet for me. My life wasnt always the happiest. My childhood was filled with things and people that I wouldnt in a million years want my own babies to see or experience. God always kept His hand of protection on me though. Through so many times when I could of gone another way...He kept me until I was ready to go His way. When I was 13, my Mom...who I was VERY close to died from a drug overdose. My life would never again be the same. This happened on Valentines Day.  February 14th, 1992. 20 years ago today. I felt so many diffferent emotions...but mostly just an absolute sense of loss and lonliness. I didnt want new friends, I didnt want someone to step in and fill her role. I just wanted my Mommy. I started doing things to escape my pain and became very depressed...was actually prescribed anti-depressants at just 15 yrs. old. It was a bitter, bitter time for me.

Then I was invited to visit family in CA for the summer. My uncle was a Pastor. I planned to visit for just a few weeks, but God had other plans. He filled me with His Spirit the first Sunday I was there. June 12th, 1994. I knelt at my seat, and the floodgates opened. I poured out all of me, all the sadness, all the bitterness, all the let-downs, all of my sins... and He filled me back up. He gave me beauty for my ashes. The oil of Joy for my mourning. The garment of praise for my spirit of heaviness. He planted me. My life was Changed once more, and I was never the same again. It was an amazing, liberating, beautiful and very sweet moment for me. The JOY of the LORD became MY strength.

And then...I met my Husband. He sat by me at McDonalds that VERY night. I was just 15...but way beyond my years. You tend to grow up when your Mama leaves you forever. We quickly became friends and He basically helped the Lord "win me". He won me at the same time.

 I wrote this Poem for him, on Valentines Day 1996.

We had just became engaged, our wedding was 6 months later.

When I started on this pathway

to the rest of my tomorrows

I held no glimpse of you in mind

I traveled a road of sorrows

I held inside an empty heart

it had lost all of its song

My joy was gone, my smile vanished

My life just felt all wrong

I sought for a peace, I could not find

and for a love that was not there

I turned to the ones I thought were friends

and found they did not care

I looked for a hope that had been lost

I just didnt have it inside

I desired the joy I once had known

and the smile that had died

GOD saw my heart and gave me grace

that I might start anew

He gave me joy, He gave me peace

and then, He gave me you

And when God gave me you to love

He gave me so much more

He gave me someone, who against all odds

would have the strength to soar

I am so thankful to the Lord

that he has brought us one another

I'll never know, how we ever lived

before we had eachother

I do know this, I have you now

and the Lord has given me grace

My pathway of sorrow, has turned into joy

because of your smiling face.

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL TEMPKE

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Are we obligated or dedicated?

This is something I have been thinking about lately. Life gets so busy. There are so many things to get done, and accomplish, and complete. So many people to talk to, and to disciple, and to spend time with, and, and, and....you get the point. The list can go on and on. Life becomes almost a job sometimes. Ministry is something that takes so much time, attention and dedication. Sometimes I fear, we let it become an obligation.  God loves a cheerful giver.He wants us to dedicate ourselves...not obligate ourselves. People know when you feel obligated and they are just a number on your long list. Sometimes they need to be #1. Dedicate your attention to them. Set aside a special time, and put all else aside. There are always going to be things to do, laundry to wash, groceries to shop for. They arent going anywhere, but my kids are going to grow up, my friends may move away, sickness may come. Make the time for the people who matter most to you. I know I fail at this many times...always in a hurry, always too busy...but why? really? Just. Slow. Down. TAKE the time. MAKE the time. DEDICATE the time.

I am dedicated to them. Right after Jesus, they are #1

ded·i·cate/ˈdediˌkāt/

Verb:

Devote (time, effort, or oneself) to a particular task or purpose: "Joan has dedicated her life to animals". Devote (something) to a particular subject or purpose.

THIS is the Day...

THIS is the day that the Lord has made...no matter what it brings.
He has designed it. He has planned it. He has made it. Just for me.
Some days, Life seems rather mundane and everyday-ish. Wake up with the same annoying pain in my back. (ha, Im getting old) Get the girls off to school, listen to the boys wake up, fuss over silly litle un-important details. Do the unending little things around the house that just never cease.  Laundry does not grow up and move out. Well, I take that back. It DOES grow up, but it does NOT move out.  Atleast not in my house. I sooo need to purge our closets and dressers! I think I'll have a bonfire. LOL
Anyways, today is just one of those days. They happen frequently with 4 kiddos.  I should start planning better so tomorrow can be more productive than the day before. I get in this rut sometimes. Yes, it happens to me too. A rut. Feeling lonely for far-away loved ones, Kids sick, holiday mess still lingering somewhat about, scooters that have been banished outside somehow rolling around my living room. Kids bickering. L I F E. Its happening. Thank God for life. Even this everyday life. Thank God for bickering children. There was a lonely day that we thought we would never be able to have one, let alone four! Thank God for the scooters that have once again found their way inside. It means we have an inside...a warm roof over our heads and a place to call home. (I have said "Keegan! Park the Scooter!" more times than I care to admit today.) Thank God for the little moments of lonliness, they remind me that HE is lonely for me..and it is Him I am truly lonely for. He calls me from my everyday monotony into His precious presence and there He reminds me...This is the day HE has made. Just for me.

One of my My favorite songs says it perfectly.
In Your Arms By Meredith Andrews
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2IcfoCmzTg